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Not sure whether you’ve found Mr. Right? When you say that
you do a lot of “camping” with him, are you referring
to the weekends you spend roughing it at home, “camped out”
by the phone, waiting for him to call you back? Do you use the excuse
that “men are from Mars” to justify the out-of-this-world
excuses he gives you for not calling or showing up for a date? If
you answered “yes” to either of these questions, take
Greg Behrendt’s advice: “He’s just not that into
you!”
His new number one self-help book, He’s Just Not That
Into You, coauthored with Liz Tuccillo, is sweeping the nation.
Recently featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show, the book that
coined a catch phrase is a must-have survival guide for single women
in the dating world. An acclaimed stand-up comic who was a creative
consultant for the show Sex and the City, Greg knows what
a guy is really thinking, and one thing that he can tell you about
a fellow for sure, is that “he’s just not that into
fur!”
In fact, eight out of 10 men are turned off by furry fashion. The
fur flies as Greg fields questions from single ladies looking for
love:
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Dear Greg,
Help! This time, I really thought I’d found the one.
I have been dating this guy that I am totally compatible with
for three months. He even enjoys going to the opera like me
… which brings me to the problem. Last weekend, we had
a big date to go and see Aïda at the Met. I
went all out. Manicure, waxing, professional blow dry, backless
dress, Louis Vuitton heels, and a gorgeous mink stole. When
he came to pick me up, he took one look at me, complained
of a stomachache, and called off the date on the spot. He
hasn’t returned a phone call in three days. It’s
driving me crazy! Do you think he might be threatened by my
beauty?
—Opera Lady |
| Dear Opera
Lady,
Beauty is only skin deep, but what’s not beautiful is
the bloody scalped mink left behind by your stole. The only
skin you should ever be seen in is your own, so ditch the
wrap next time because it sounds like he’s just
not that into fur! |
| Dear Greg,
I have been friends with this guy since college. Last year,
he professed his love to me, but at the time, I was in a relationship.
After my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I caved and started
dating the friend. Well, a month later I’m head over
heels, when all of the sudden, he cools off. Here’s
the sitch—last week, I took him to my favorite little
retreat, a cozy little fur farm in upstate New York. The tour
was great. We saw how beavers are genitally electrocuted (no
blood on those furs!) and how foxes are skinned alive. But
he was acting so weird and uncomfortable during the tour,
that it almost ruined our date. Afterwards, when we went for
cappuccinos, he said that we should take a break. What gives?
Do you think I should have continued playing hard to get?
—Hard to Get |
| Dear Hard to
Get,
Your favorite little retreat sounds like a hellish nightmare
that would only ever be replicated for the purposes of a horror
flick. Unless your “friend” is a sadistic sicko,
your idea of watching genitally electrocuted beavers and skinned
foxes as foreplay is truly disturbing. It sounds like you
need to focus less on cappuccinos and more on compassion,
because he’s just not that into fur! |
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